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His sartorial precision, his aggressively curated sense of style is usually, I’m afraid, a distraction technique from the sad fact he has a face like a shoe. All they need is a couple of snaps of their outfit, including a close-up of their latest pocket square, uploading it to Instagram, tagging it #menswear, and then going on their merry way to find something else to stand beside looking smart.įunnily enough, unless they’re parading a recent haircut – which will be tagged #newhair or #hairgame and will look exactly the same as it did before – most of his photos will be from the neck down. So long as there’s the remote chance a woman will appraise them and tell them they look “dapper”, they’re happy. Every day is an opportunity to show their #style. Your sartorial overlords, who would think nothing of wearing a suit to a barbecue – no socks, of course – don’t believe in overdressing. The #menswear crewįear that trip-trap of immaculately polished penny loafers on the pavement run to the kitchen for scissors to cut the Primark label out of your T-shirt. Dating a lad can be quite fun, perhaps, if you’re after something mindless, where the quality of the sex will be affected by how well 11 men you’ve never met perform elsewhere on the day, but prepare for socks under the bed, crispy, unwashed sheets and an old beer can on the nightstand. Instead you’ll get an awkward shrug and a pat of the hand, before they amble off to watch that channel on Sky Sports that doesn’t have any actual sport on it, just two men talking about it while numbers scroll along the bottom of the screen. They can talk you to death about any sport you like, and will cry when their football team loses, but place them at the bedside of a dying relative and you won’t see the tearful “I love you” you’re looking for. Forget conversation if you find yourself face-to-face with a lad. Being a lad is a safe haven from all the big, serious issues out there – like emotional involvement and critical thinking. Lager companies need someone to advertise to, and the lad is only happy to oblige.